Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
