Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
