dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you had me at cake vodka
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
