It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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