you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
