i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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