last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize