I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
