I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
