gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Vodka?
Forever.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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