Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm really busy with my period
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