You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
