just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
