and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
