So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
