I don't remember. Are we still dating?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
