There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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