She's JV to your varsity
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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