I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
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