The maid of honor just puked.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
