i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Can Purell be used as lube?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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