If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
