I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
