O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
