forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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