No stitches, just platelets and will power
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
