I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
