Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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