what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
