Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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