Those balls look pretty dangerous.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
