guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
