I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
