Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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