I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
