she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
