I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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