Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
