the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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