Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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