How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
