Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
