just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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