It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
