im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
