They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
