Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
