Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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