does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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