we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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