Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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