hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
