im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
