You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
