I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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