my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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