Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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