PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
