dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
