I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
