I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
