I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
