I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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