Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
